Dear Clarence*

Q: Dear Clarence, during the past month, I have noticed that the Minnesota Twins look pretty good. In fact, with the addition of a power hitter, I believe they could take it all. The guys in the bar think I am crazy, but I believe we just can’t lose. Do you think I’m listening to too much Sid Hartman?
A: Dear Rosie, fawning over Minnesota sports teams is a highly respected tradition. Take Ex-Governor Carlson. The man loved anything claiming the state’s name. If a team called Minnesota home, Carlson would back them. Even Governor Pawlenty wore a Twin’s Jersey when he signed the legislation enabling Carl Pohlad to get nearly a half a billion dollars. Your not crazy, you just need to run for public office.
Q: Dear Dave, Lately, my wife has noticed I have been confusing people’s names. It’s become embarrassing, especially when I call the preacher by the bar owner’s name!
Do you have any tricks to help me remember names?
                                      Aphasic Greeter
A: Dear So and So, aside from using generic greetings for the rest of your life, I’ve found that if you stick to places where you feel comfortable you won’t have a problem. Believe it or not, when I stay in the basement, my memory works fine. If I do have to go out, I just bring my wife, her memory is perfect.
*Dear Clarence’s advice should be taken with a grain of salt or a dinner roll, depending on your appetite.

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