4) You think getting up from TV to pee qualifies as an aerobic exercise
3) You are disappointed to hear that the “Half 5K” was cancelled.
2) Spandex shorts are not available in size 3XL
1) Driving the marathon course, wore you out
Top Five Reason You Will Not Be Running a Marathon This Year
– Clarence Holm
Beyond the grueling months of training and planning that is involved in a 26.2 mile race, there are five signs that you may not be Olympic material.
5) Your Carbo-Loading diet is Cheetos and Pepsi.
PrairieChat 
This was a good one. >KB
And you’re too busy streaming Mad Men on Netflix.