Sox Rant

According to GetGuidance.com, a British consumer site, I am a member of the 1%

Before you get too jealous about this revelation, you should understand that I am referring to a shoe size! My feet are larger than 99% of the men that are my age who were surveyed for this study. (My mom always said I was exceptional, and now I know that she was correct. At least about my shoe size)

The problem is as a robust member of that above average group, I have discovered, from real world experience, that very few socks are made that fit my feet. If I were to go to a “normal” store, I would be offered a large selection of “one size fits all” socks along with a much smaller selection of “Big Mans” socks that are, despite the large bold print, still too small for me. (Regular socks fit men with a socks size of up to size 11, and Big Man’s go to size 13) I unfortunately require a size 13.5 sock. For those of you interested in measuring your own personal sock size, obtain your shoe size and add one(1) to it and you get your sock size. So with the help of a calculator, my shoe size 12.5 then translates to a sock size 13.5!

I’ve never before considered myself gargantuan, but it appears that in the world of socks, I am massive. Even if I were to go to a men’s “Big & Tall Store”, the odds of me being able to purchase comfortable socks are tragically limited. The ones that do fit cover the entire calf, have stripes on them and are labeled “For the Hefty Soccer Dad!”

I have checked for specialty shops that advertise socks for the digitally enhanced and have come up empty. It appears that I am stuck trying to purchase “stretchy” big man soccer socks and hope that my Pleated Dockers Slacks cover them.

I am seriously considering creating a men’s wear support group for people who are sick and tired of not having the wool pulled over their heel. I have even come up with a spokesman, Saul Bunyan and his little pal Babe – The Blue Sox.

Gee – I wonder where Bozo buys his socks?

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