I stepped in footprints left behind
Of my older sibling’s stories
Hallowed memories of family times
Before I joined the clan.I shared clothing that was left behind
By older siblings who are long grown now.
Distressed shirts featuring faded idols
Whose luster now’s a diminished star.Repeated stories of my family
Before I came to be.
Memories spoken late at night
Familiar – but not quite mine.Early family portraits
Leaving spaces where I should be.
Notes of celebrations
Before I came to be.Footprints that my siblings left behind
I’ve tried hard to follow right
Grasping at the memories
That were never really mine.
-Clarence Holm
Beautiful memories that I cannot share as the fist born.
I get that feeling sometimes – like I must have missed years and years of stuff happening in my family – and yet I was there! Then suddenly their is a “click” moment and I’m back in the fold.
I am the oldest so don’t have the younger sibling experience –but you describe it well– makes me wonder if my youngest brother, 8 years younger, ever felt out of the picture(s).
It’s the vacation photos that always got me.
I guess it’s a very proximate record of “before me”–not like parents who were of course in the world long before.