For Sale

The First Annual Fourth Estate Sale!

auction

(Brought to you by a Broken Society)

 

Due to the consolidation of independent journalism and the high cost of in-depth reporting – The World Wide Net is offering possibly one of the most unique independent writing collection that has ever been assembled… a manipulative publisher’s dream!

The writings of many unbiased writers gathered together to be sold to the highest bidder … many items from written history, including recent reporting from the 1960s, ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, and beyond, all lovingly composed, edited, and published in what was referred to as the free press. Many of the items in this sale have been digitalized for quick resale! Most of these unique stories, editorials, current events, and daily news stories can be professionally repackaged to suit your unique ideology. Don’t miss this opportunity to reshape history without the need to win a bothersome war or partner with an irrational dictator!

Be the first in your neighborhood to rebrand history justifying your own religious or racist viewpoints. By carefully selecting and repackaging bits and pieces of content so your word can become gospel.

Why make history when records can be revised and rewritten? Formally available only to religious zealots and brutal dictators’ current history can be yours.

For more unsourced information contact Zuckerberg Publishing

 

©2020 cj holm

Gone Too Soon

The loss of my nephew this week after he complained of a headache and fever that seemed to be better stunned our family.

Chris was a healthy 45-year-old male who died alone in his apartment within days of his complaining of symptoms. My brother tried to check on him the day after his phone conversation and got no answer to his pounding on his apartment door. The apartment manager refused to open the door and suggested calling the police. The police said they would have to wait 48 hours to do a check. Sadly after that time, Chris was found dead.

The Risk of COVID-19 seemed to be far away here in Minnesota; the Orient and stranded cruise ships seemed to be unrelated to our welfare, but we were wrong. Minnesota has become one of the nation’s hot spots.

I am going through waves of disbelief, anger, fear, and anger again while watching the deniers protest in the streets. Seeing the idiots in Lansing, Michigan demonstrating while carrying guns in their demand to reopen their state now sickens me.

This culture of science denial, led by an egomaniac politician does not help. Science needs to reinstated as the norm.

Haiku/Senryu Challenge (3/30/20)

And the times, they aren’t changing!

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge 299 Bright / Fight

Historic caning
brutal political fight
-In bright marble halls

                                       ©2020 cj holm
Ronovan’s Haiku Challenge (3/30/20)

haiku_challenge_288

https://ronovanwrites.com/2020/03/30/weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-7/

Pandemic Thoughts

While I realize that the Covid-19 Virus is a real threat that is disrupting lives and putting people at risk, I can’t help but daydream of a new business. Looking out my window, I can see six unused outbuildings on my property. It occurs to me I might be missing an opportunity to turn these rundown, ramshackle, mice-infested sheds into an income source.

Therefore, announcing my new business venture—

Rustic Acres

Shack

Available For Quick Occupancy

Have you been worried about the Corona Virus?
Do neighbors seem to be coughing more often?
Are you tired of long lines at grocery stores?
Have you been thinking about the possibility of an Armageddon?
Have you considered that you might not make the cut during the Rapture?
Do you like the idea of sharing your food with small animals?
Or maybe you’re just looking for a good place to self-isolate at a bargain price?

If so–

Come see our choice selection of shacks located in Southwestern Minnesota. Whether you looking for a weekend hide y-hole or a long-term hideaway, we have abandoned buildings and out of the way structures that may be perfect for you.

We have the best selection of small grain bins (with or without floors), chicken coops, hog sheds, and rustic pole barns. We guarantee no worries about telemarketers, wayward spirits, or neighborhood door-to-door salesmen, as these buildings have limited access to roads, bothersome power-poles, waterlines, or sewers.

Whether it’s short term, long term, or an eternity, we have leases options that could be perfect for you*.

Call CJ at FIL-THY-SHED for more information.

Remember-
If you’re looking for a roof and not much more…
These sheds are out standing!

Disclaimer – This offer has no reality associated with it whatsoever!

*For a limited time, each rental includes a bushel of seedless corn cobs

Minnesota Tall Tale

Oles’ White Lutefisk
And The Legend of the Singing Coyotes

A long, long time ago, before the Hudson Bay trappers explored Minnesota’s vast prairie and timber, before all the beaver were driven from the cool valley streams, Minnesota was inhabited by the Dakota Sioux, the Ojibwa, and the Winnebago. For as far as the eagle can see, the grasslands and forest spread across the prairie, providing sustenance for all manner of living creatures. The drums, flutes and rhythmic songs of the ancient tribes echoed in the evening skies, comforting all that wandered through the land, eating and drinking only what was needed from the land of their fathers and their father’s fathers.

On this day walked Ole with his cow and wooden cart, squeaking and squawking, wandering about. Past deer trails and river beds, he sang as he strolled, of his memories, his daydreams, his life on this road.

Ya sure, you betcha
I’ve come a long, long way
Cross the sea I sailed…
Uff-da Norway’s so far, far away!
Sweet land of brown bread
Where lutefisk’s served
A gift for the senses
Homes’ aroma preserved
Here the rivers are deep
The valley’s so wide
Don’tcha know day after day
My song is my guide
Ya sure, you betcha
I’ve come a long, long way
Cross the sea I sailed…
Uff-da Norway’s so far, far away!

To be continued…

©2020 cj holm

Healthcare on The Prairie

Quite a day yesterday! It started out the night before at 11:00 p.m. when my shoulder began to hurt with very sharp pain. I’ve been recovering from reverse shoulder replacement surgery so this wasn’t an unusual happening. I got up and took three Advil and applied heat to the area. At 2:00 a.m. I tried to go to sleep again; the pain increased so I got up and took three more Advil.

By 4:00 a.m. The pain was so intense that I broke into my emergency supply of pain meds and took the last 2 Tramadol I had left. I gave up all hope of sleeping and waited until 7:00 a.m. and drove myself to Mayo in St. James, Minnesota where I had a physical therapist appointment I had already scheduled.

When I got there at 7:45 a.m. I met with the therapist who suggested I go over to the clinic scheduling desk and see if I could get a Doctor to look at my shoulder.

At the reception desk, I was told that the earliest I could be seen by anyone was 9:15, so I went to a waiting room chair and waited to be called. At 9:20 a nurse came and got me and took me to an exam room and took my initial information. I told her I was at a 10 of 10 on the pain chart and asked for pain meds. I waited in the room for 15 minutes for a PA to come in who looked me over as said I needed to have X-rays. I was sent back out to the waiting room and waited another 15 minutes for the x-ray tech to come and get me. A very nice woman took the X-rays and led me back to my original exam room where I waited for the results. The PA told me that my info was sent to be read at Mayo (headquarters) and I should wait there for the results. The results came (40 minutes later) and they revealed a complete shoulder separation of my newly replaced ball and socket. She then sent the information to my surgeon in Mankato for his review. 15 minutes later I was told that I needed to get to Mankato Mayo emergency to get treated.

Being as my wife was sick with flu I called a buddy to see if he could drive me. Unfortuanently he was already taking care of another medical emergency with his mother so he couldn’t help. By then I was really hurting and not thinking very well, so I decided to drive myself from St. James to Mankato, Minnesota (About 45 miles). I got to Mankato and walked into the emergency room where I was examed and treated by some very nice people and my surgeon who after I was sedated put by shoulder back in place. It was now 3:00 p.m. and I was feeling much better. My shoulder and arm were placed in a sling, which I will be wearing for 6 weeks while it heals.

Unfortunately, because I was put under for the procedure they would not allow me to drive home and suggested I should take a cab 55 miles back to Ormsby. I immediately suggested they were out of their f#$!! minds. I called a friend (Thanks Cornie in Odin, Mn) who volunteered to come and get me and also recruited another friend (Thanks Lyle Anderson) who would drive my car back home. At 6:30 p.m. I was back home – 19 hours after my shoulder separated. Though it took awhile there were a lot of very caring people who worked to help me.

I guess that’s the good and bad for choosing to live in rural Minnesota.

Given a chance to make the decision to move out to Ormsby again, I would certainly say the friendships I’ve made here make the inconveniences worth it.

Stabant Autem In Perpetuum

It is with sadness that I report that last week, this home’s ash tree succumbed to the woodsman’s ax and chain saw. The end came quickly after a short illness and straight line winds. While the tree demurely refused to count her rings, It was generally believed that she germinated around forty to fifty years ago. We have been told that she was never married, still there are many friends that are left to mourn her passing, including Robbie the grey squirrel, Charlotte the spider, many blackbirds and starlings that sang so sweetly from her limbs, and finally the scores of dogs and cats that sniffed and marked her trunk during their travels.

Interment will be in Harry’s wood pile and crematorium, where her trunk will be split for distribution.

The service was officiated by Affordable Tree and Landscape Services of St. James, Minnesota.

Donations and remembrances can be sent to the Minnesota Extension Service, who provided final consultation at the end.

-CJ Holm

Murmuring Souls

Created for Susi Bocks Challenge

woods

Art Credit – Google Image

I write her weekly Haiku/Senryu Challenge 30 – July 30, 2019

These murmuring souls
sacrificed to the dark god
of the pagan woods

Forever silenced soldiers
-lost Tiberius’ phalanx

-CJ Holm
From Chapter 73 of Tacitus’s Annals.

“Soon afterwards it was ascertained from deserters that nine hundred Romans had been cut to pieces in a wood called Baduhenna, after prolonging the fight to the next day, and that another body of four hundred, which had taken possession of the house of one Cruptorix, once a soldier in our pay, fearing betrayal, had perished by mutual slaughter.”

https://iwriteher.com/2019/07/30/i-write-her-weekly-haiku-senryu-challenge-30/