Haiku/Tanka Challenge (7/20/20)

view ape thinking primate

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Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge 315 – Chimpanzee / Kiss

White House chimpanzee
Sits behind his right shoulder
– There to kiss his ring

He never questions orders
Makes a perfect running mate

                               ©2020 cj holm

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https://ronovanwrites.com/2020/07/20/haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-chimpanzee-kiss/

Double-Down Don

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You won the office most thought you’d lose
By making statements, you played the news.
You made big promises, it’s quite a list
Orders to Senate, let nothing be missed.

First thing to do is turn back the clock
Cancel all programs, old solutions to block.
Claim the economy is going quite bad
Obama’s solutions at best were a fad.

If a memo’s reviewed by the leftwing press
Just who’s to know – you made a quick guess.
They checked the answer you thought would fly,
So question questions, and continually deny.

Pandemic is peaking you took to the mike
Ignoring experts, deaths continued to spike.
Cotton smudged makeup, not good for your look
Pence wears a mask, you think he’s a snook.

So many people your inaction has killed
You blame the governors, claim they’re unskilled.
You act like a loser, you act like a clown
So many wrong answers, The Don doubles-down!

                                          ©2020 cj holm

For Sale

The First Annual Fourth Estate Sale!

auction

(Brought to you by a Broken Society)

 

Due to the consolidation of independent journalism and the high cost of in-depth reporting – The World Wide Net is offering possibly one of the most unique independent writing collection that has ever been assembled… a manipulative publisher’s dream!

The writings of many unbiased writers gathered together to be sold to the highest bidder … many items from written history, including recent reporting from the 1960s, ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, and beyond, all lovingly composed, edited, and published in what was referred to as the free press. Many of the items in this sale have been digitalized for quick resale! Most of these unique stories, editorials, current events, and daily news stories can be professionally repackaged to suit your unique ideology. Don’t miss this opportunity to reshape history without the need to win a bothersome war or partner with an irrational dictator!

Be the first in your neighborhood to rebrand history justifying your own religious or racist viewpoints. By carefully selecting and repackaging bits and pieces of content so your word can become gospel.

Why make history when records can be revised and rewritten? Formally available only to religious zealots and brutal dictators’ current history can be yours.

For more unsourced information contact Zuckerberg Publishing

 

©2020 cj holm

Talk To The Populist

With apologizes to Bobby Darin and his “Talk to the Animals”

trump
If I could talk to the Populist, just imagine it
Chattin’ with Donald in Trumpanzee
Imagine talking to a Spicer, chatting with a Conway
What a neat achievement it would be

If we could talk to the Populist, learn all his languages
I could take a Trumpian degree
I’d study Steve Bannon The racist, Priebus the chairman
Tillerson, Steve Mnuchin, and Price

I would converse with Jeff Sessions and Devos
And I would curse in fluent Senate-ease
If people ask me, “Can you speak Alternatives?”
I’d say, “Of courseative, can’t these?”

If I spoke slang to his Cabinet
The advantages why any fool on earth could plainly see
Discussing religion and ethos with intellectual Right Wings
That’s a big step backward you’ll agree

I’d study every populist behavior
So I could speak to all of them on site
If friends said, “Can he talk with communist or Bolshelists?”
You’d say, “Alt Left and you’d be right”

And if you just stop and think of it ain’t no doubt of it
I’m gonna win a place in history
If I could walk with the Populist talk with the Populist
Twist, Fib, Stoop with the Populist
And they could Twist and fib and lie and mislead me

©2017 Clarence Holm

#Trump #TheWarRoom #AnimalKingdom

Ode to The Inauguration (or By The Shores of Gitche Gloomy)

inauguration

Brave poets and writers,
True bards one and all.
Offer us wisdom,
Please answer the call.

When the world is in turmoil,
And our tempers inflamed.
Lost trust for our country,
Can our big trouble be tamed?

Tell us a story,
Of a man who is bold.
Who’s willing to tweet,
While his thoughts unfold.

A man who called
For proof as a birther
And now’s sincerely
A climate denier.

Judges women with numbers,
The best scored one through ten.
Then festoons girls with banners,
Making them more pleasing for men.

He dressed them in swimsuits,
Had them set by his knee.
Then if they’re worthy,
He grabbed them with glee.

After the pageant,
He’d leave on his jet.
Home to the office,
So much space to sublet

Now Trump takes control
From Hawaii to Maine
God help us bigly
While we’re under his reign!

-Clarence Holm

Holiday Greetings (Or Not)

“I’m Better Than You!”

If I receive one more message stating, “Rather than send out greeting cards (or presents) I’ve made a donation to a charity in your name.” I might just go out and buy a “Make America Great Again” hat!

This week I’ve received written letters, emails, and Facebook announcements from a number of businesses and/or private persons containing that announcement – and I wonder what could be their thought process?

Send or don’t send cards or presents if you like- it’s a personal decision, but don’t use it as a form of advertisement of some greater moral behavior. You apparently don’t like the practice, but please stop trying to have it both ways by sending public notices of not sending public notices.

If you find yourself sending out cards or presents for any other reason than that you enjoy making people feel good, you might want to check your motives. If you’re worried about a charity or a particular cause, send them a gift, but do it because you want to, not because you want people to notice your “selfless” act of charity.

I happen to enjoy sending out an annual Christmas greeting! What I don’t need is some “holier than thou” telling me that they don’t do cards or gifts anymore and I shouldn’t too.

To me the ultimate irony of that act is when some of the charities receive these cash donations; they end up using them to send out extra holiday cards — soliciting more money…

Happy Holidays
Clarence Holm

 

“Ormsby – We mind our business!”

Quote Challenge – Day 3 (Finally)

I have been nominated by Claudette of Ceenoa to this challenge.
These are my quotes for Day 3
The last day of this challenge for me and I have chosen 3 Political Figures – two of which I consider excellent statesmen…

“Well, I learned a lot….I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries”
-Ronald Reagan

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers

“I’ve upped my standards. Now, up yours!”
-Pat Paulsen

 

The Rules of this Quote Challenge are:
1-Post on three consecutive days.
2-You can pick one or three quotes per day.
3-Normally at this point I should issue a challenge to a number of bloggers, but being the shy person I am, I am reticent to do that. But please understand that I love to see inspirational quotes and art, so if you have them – Bring them on!

Donald Trump aka Pat Paulson Incarnate

Pat Paulson Donald Trump

Pat Paulson Donald Trump

After months of observing the Republican presidential candidate search, it has become obvious that Donald Trump is really the reincarnation of Pat Paulson.  And as skillfully as an act in a Smothers Brothers Comedy Sketch, he is using this campaign run as a wildly successful publicity stunt for the “Trump” brand..

There is a precedent for this. If you recall in the late 60’s, Pat Paulson (a comedian on the Smothers Brothers TV show) started a fictitious campaign for president. He was so successful that CBS had the Smothers Brothers devote part of a show telling people it was all a joke and they should not waste their vote.

No one in his right mind could produce the political turmoil to his party unless it is all just a tongue-in-cheek party joke.

Here is one of Pat’s later TV appearances before his death in 1997.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsU8_DSmlXY

What do you think?