Ode to The Inauguration (or By The Shores of Gitche Gloomy)


Brave poets and writers,
True bards one and all.
Offer us wisdom,
Please answer the call.

When the world is in turmoil,
And our tempers inflamed.
Lost trust for our country,
Can our big trouble be tamed?

Tell us a story,
Of a man who is bold.
Who’s willing to tweet,
While his thoughts unfold.

A man who called
For proof as a birther
And now’s sincerely
A climate denier.

Judges women with numbers,
The best scored one through ten.
Then festoons girls with banners,
Making them more pleasing for men.

He dressed them in swimsuits,
Had them set by his knee.
Then if they’re worthy,
He grabbed them with glee.

After the pageant,
He’d leave on his jet.
Home to the office,
So much space to sublet

Now Trump takes control
From Hawaii to Maine
God help us bigly
While we’re under his reign!

-Clarence Holm

Old Times Stories



Photo Credit – http://www.fatherhood.org

The old Chevy runs at its leisure
That darn starter has no clout.
Which means my arrival time’s unsure,
And of course, the boss will start to shout?

Last week the bathroom faucet was leaking,
And the toilet was in constant flow.
The apartments stool needed a little fixing,
What made me think Drano was apropos?

Now the furnace fan has started clicking
I suppose it needs a service call.
I’d love to stop that infernal ticking
But they’d want all my money for the call.

When times got tough, I would call up my father
And he’d listen to me on his phone.
Of course, he said it was no bother,
Though I tended to bitch and moan.

After a while, he would stammer,
That I really didn’t have it so bad!
That the old times were so much tougher
Back when he was a little lad.

Back then the wind was always blowing
No matter which way he had to crawl.
And how the snow drifts kept on growing
Those old time blizzards threatened all.

Then he’d recall his tedious schoolwork
Plus the dangerous chores he had to do.
How the young preacher fellow went berserk
Because of some young rowdies in his pew.

I supposed, while dad meandered through his thought,
There is no real reason for me to worry.
That no matter how hard I have it in my lot
I’m just building my own “Old Times Story”.

-Clarence Holm